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August 20, 2020 at 11:38AM was when my entire world changed. My right wrist had a band that said “father” with my wife’s name, date, time and other numbers. My heart stopped, as I witnessed my daughter’s little head appear. The beeping of monitors has become the ever-present audio wallpaper in the dimly lit calm room. Moments later Sade made her grand entrance. She was quickly cleaned and placed on my wife’s stomach for a few seconds. I stood patiently excited to meet my bundle of joy.
Sade was handed over to me, to conduct skin to skin contact. The nurse asked me to take off my shirt. I did so sharply. Ready to hold my precious gift from God, just seconds of her birth. My hands were out just as Rafiki the baboon held Simba high on the Rock from the movie, “The Lion King”. As she was given to me, wrapped up in a receiving blanket, I instantly noticed her sparkling, focused, tiny marble-like eyeballs staring deeply into mine. I held back tears to embrace the intimate moment. This was it — the moment I have been waiting nine months for. I gently held her close to my chest. I knew she would feel the calmness of my heartbeat, as the slow rhythm soothed her.
As we strolled through the hallway, the bright lights welcomed us back into reality. We scanned the new room together to observe the layout. I noticed the stiff brown chair. This was going to be my home for the next couple of days. I must admit, It was the most uncomfortable “sofa” that I’ve slept on. Regardless, we were grateful.
After a few minutes of settling in, Sade was brought into our room. I took the opportunity to share the big news with our family, sending them photos of my proud moment of holding her skin-to-skin.
Then suddenly, my phone began to vibrate displaying an unfamiliar number
Sophia: Hi! Is this Ayodele?
Me: Yes
Sophia: It’s Sophia. I’m responding to an inquiry you made on Zillow. Is now a good time?
Me: Yeah! My daughter was just born!
Sophia: Today?
Me: Yup! I’m so excited. I can’t stop smiling.
Sophia: Wow! I bet! Congrats. Are you sure now is a good time?
Me: I have 90 days to go, Miss! Today is day one! I need a house to put my daughter in. Where do we start?
Sophia: I understand. Have you started working with a lender yet?
Me: Yes! What will I need to move forward?
Sophia: Your pre-qualification letter and documents. Do you have a pen handy?
Me: Sure.
Sophia: We will need two years of your tax returns, two forms of ID, and your paystubs. When are you free to come in? I’m in South Jersey
Me: Umm….In a couple of days. Is that all you need? I have this all in my dropbox. Can I share them with you now?
Sophia: Sure, I’ll text you my email address. How is next Thursday afternoon?
Me: That works! Thank you for the call, see you then.
It was at this moment that I no longer accepted the limiting belief placed upon myself. I rejected the thought that it was impossible and stepped outside of my comfort zone to achieve home ownership. If you think about it, how can you be afraid of something that you have never experienced? At that point, it’s not fear, you are just in your own way. The birth of my daughter sparked a motivation to face my fears. I educated myself on the home buying process and became prepared for what was to come. Once you educate yourself on what you do not know, there is a confidence that eludes and a change of mindset that pushes you through everyday.
Seeing my wife’s stomach grow as time progressed made me uncomfortable. We lived in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom walk up. I shared the space with the rest of my family with the exception of my father. I am the oldest of three. The space was not sufficient to raise a child.
My mind was full of what I envisioned my lifestyle to be. Marking the wall as my daughter grows taller, looking forward to her practicing her handwriting on the walls, creating a space to host family and friends for the holidays, essentially making a house a home. The vision was so vivid in my mind that I knew it was bound to happen.
We did some research and sent our finds to Sophia prior to our meeting. My wife and newborn took the road trip to South Jersey. The first was a condo, my wife was already turned off by the long staircase. Luckily we had one more to visit. A brick townhome on a corner lot. A little over our budget, however it checked everything on our list. The perfect starter home coming from New York. We would finally have space from being cramped on top of each other. We took action that day. Sophia had me sign my offer contract to send the seller.
Fast forward, 95 days later, I closed on my first home. What one can achieve when they face their fears and push everyday with confidence and assurance in themself, will bring success. Looking back at the moments in my 200 sqft. box bedroom, overcoming my fear of the unknown was the best decision that I made. Now, I am encouraging my sister, other millennials, and families to pursue home ownership. I intend to break the limiting beliefs and myths of home ownership in the minority community.
I established OG Capital to educate and help those who want to buy their first home, but do not know where or how to start. My company is determined to bridge the knowledge gap and provide a solid path to home ownership. No matter where you are on the journey, you are not alone. We will provide strategies for accumulating your down payment as well as credit repair if needed.
Unlike government sponsored programs that aim to encourage home ownership, our approach is to empower our clients with knowledge of the stock market. For low-income households and households of color, homeownership can be a catalyst to wealth building.
